?

Log in

A demonstration against the Tribeca Film Festival's choice to feature the movie "Ticked Off Trannies With Knives" will take place in NYC tonight. The movie promotes transphobia and makes light of the rape and violence all too often directed at transwomen. In addition to the offensive title of the movie, the film portrays transwomen as being performers.

http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2010/04/join-tribeca-protest-over-ticked-off.html
 
 
22 March 2010 @ 11:29 am
A petition to remove cross-dressing as a mental disorder is being submitted to the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Workgroup of the American Psychiatric Association (APA). Currently the APA considers individuals who crossdress to be suffering from "transvestic disorder"

http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2010/03/remove-crossdressing-from-dsm-v.html
 
 
Jonathan Escobar, 16 of North Cobb High School has been kicked out because he refuses to change who he is and stop dressing in female attire at school. Please join in taking action to demand school administrators allow him to express himself as he sees fit and to create a policy to ensure the safety of gender variant students.

http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2009/10/georgia-highschool-boots-student-for.html
 
 
22 June 2009 @ 06:22 pm
I'm new here so I'd thought I'd introduce myself:

I am married to a wonderful man named Jake, who also identifies as a woman named Victoria. I support him in every way with his interest in bieng female as well as a man. He has finally become comfortable with letting me see the full side of him he has never been comfortable sharing with anyone else.

Hope to learn alot from you all.
 
 
04 February 2009 @ 09:25 pm
I've been looking for a community such as this one, and not having much luck. I noticed that this one isnt extremely active, but hopefully someone is still out there reading this, and can help me a bit. From the posts I've read, you all seem like you might get it best.

I am absolutely head over heels in love with a six and a half foot tall crossdresser. He identifies himself as drag queen, yet he is not gay. He has had a brief relationship with a man, another drag queen, which didn't work out, and it seems that his attraction to the opposite sex ends when the makeup comes off. I thought this seemed more like transvestite than drag queen, but he still prefers the term. This really isn't the problem.

I met J.C. three years ago, and he was introduced to me with all cards on the table. I knew he crossdressed, and I loved it about him. I made him clothes, did his makeup, took pictures for him. I've tried like hell to find shoes for him, but the poor dear has size 18 shoes (mens sizes), so this has failed miserably. lol.

Our relationship has always been rocky. He has always been just a bit of an attention whore (understatement), and in the past been inherently selfish. We dated initially a couple of years ago, and he left me within a week for a girl he hadn't even met at the time...yes, before we continue, Im a big girl, and this girl was not. I was a virgin at the time, etc...either way, he left me and it hurt. But, somehow, things got worked out and we ended up together, and we've been happier this go around. Possibly due to the girl's insanity, and his thankfulness at my lack of that. The girl was convinced that he was in love with his feminine persona (Lola), which is perhaps a bit true, and she destroyed alot of his clothes (some of which I had made), and his wigs and makeup.

The problem Im having seems to be that no matter how fine I am with the crossdressing, I seem to still be struggling with it. Its not something I wasnt aware of from the beginning, but now that we're very committed to each other, sometimes I feel like there is another woman in his life. He doesnt dress as much as he used to, but now, when he does it, he either hides it from me, or doesnt dress completely. Or he constantly asks if Im okay with it. He likes to dress sometimes when we have sex, which Im okay with, and sometimes he likes to do lesbian role play (TMI? Im sorry, just trying to be as honest as possible), which helps. And, more often than not, he seems to lack a libido completely if he isnt dressed up, or if Im involved. I think that in some ways, hes more interested in solo time because, then he is free to be with the other woman...himself.

This hurts alot, and its made me kinda cynical and bitchy, even when I dont mean to be. I find myself saying some pretty snide and hurtful things without meaning to. I caught him the other day having had intentionally spend the night away from me to dress up and spend some quality time with himself, despite the fact that we only really get physical one to three times a month. I felt like he wasted his rare mood by being without me. It hurt, bad. Almost to the point where I dont want to be with him anymore. But, then again, thats not true, because I love him more than Ive loved anyone, and he says he feels the same way about me.

Also, before we met, and earlier in our up and down relationship, he would dress up and take borderline pornographic pictures of himself and post them on the internet. I told him that he had to stop doing that. Not because of crossdressing, but because I dont want other people looking at him like that. He wouldnt allow me to do the same thing, and I dont feel like its too much to ask of him. I think he may have taken it to mean that I thought him dressing up made him a whore, and I didnt mean that, but he seemed to only dress up for that purpose and the attention. I even asked him recently to stop dressing up all together unless I knew or was there because it felt like he was sneaking around.

All that being said, he has really tried to lose alot of his selfishness and be nurturing and good for me. When he slips back into his old habits, and I call him on it, he cries and feels bad, like he cant help it. I know its a hard habit to break, but I dont want to lose him over it. I'm the first girl in over ten years that has meant this much to him, and he knows nothing about how to be in a serious relationship. And he is my very first serious relationship. We're really happy together in that respect. Theres a huge amount of love between us, and we dont want to be apart.

Any advice? Please? How can I cope with the crossdressing, and is his need to hide things like that from me going to put such a wedge between us that we cant possibly work out? Anything that you all could offer me would be appreciated, even if its just someone who can understand. Thanks you guys.
 
 
 
16 August 2008 @ 01:36 am
hi. i'm ellen, married to michael (we don't have a femme name for him). i've known about his CD'ing since very early on in our relationship. i always thought i was accepting but there have been times that he hasn't felt accepted or encouraged or comfortable. i'm bi so it's actually great for me.

when he first told me he made it sound like it was purely a sexual thing but it does seem to go beyond that - he used to like sleeping in a nightgown, i know that part of him wishes he could go out in a sundress, he's very uncomfortable in a suit or even a button down shirt. on the other hand he would not dress up for halloween or the mermaid parade or anything - in public the most he has done is wear some bangle bracelets or wear women's boots out in provincetown. (actually he may have gone out fully dressed once or twice a long time ago, at night... before i knew him?)

anyway i am interested in hearing about how people address this as parents - it is very important to me that our sons be raised to be open minded about gender identity, but on the other hand, our eldest (3yo) is quite the chatterbox and michael is not "out" about his crossdressing, so that is something we need to be conscious of.

my other issue is sometimes feeling.... like m is more interested in looking at himself than looking at me. anyone know what i mean on that one? i'm happy to ooh and aah over another woman (whether that woman is bio-male or bio-female) but i need some ooh-ing and aah-ing too.

and speaking of which, and in the interest of full disclosure, i also have a girlfriend, lisa, which is a new situation (and is long distance so at this point it's consisted of one visit and just phone calls and emails)....
 
 
08 August 2008 @ 07:21 pm
*This journal is a pseudonym; neither my husband nor I feel comfortable letting our normal friends-lists know about his indulgences*

You can call me Diesel; I'm 22 years old with a daughter whose two months and some change, and my husband and I just celebrated our first anniversary at the end of July. Not the most conventional relationship, but with compromise, we make it work. My husband came out to me around two weeks ago, and since then, things have sort of fit together a bit better.

Cut, as it will get somewhat long and probably partially off-topic since I tend to ramble a lot!
Read more...Collapse )
 
 
Current Location: In the living room
Current Music: Disneys Robin Hood for background noise
 
 
08 August 2008 @ 12:22 pm
hello group. my name is brian. or amy. whichever. 

i am a 27 year old bigender (or genderqueer) bio male who often identifies and/or dresses as a woman. It has taken me many years to go from a purely fetishistic idea of crossdressing to a more levelled way of dressing as a way of expressing how i feel and identify. 

i have been blessed with an extremely supportive partner who has been open from the beginning and continues to grow with me as my needs and desires have changed. she is an amazing communicator and is very open minded.

we talk from time to time about what it all means and make sure that she is ok with where i am at currently and how my crossdressing may affect our lives down the road as far as kids, relatives, and such are concerned. 

she is worried sometimes that i do not have a more concrete idea of my gender identity and that i compromise my true self to adhere to a stereotype that i feel makes me more "feminine". 

it's a journey and i hope that this group really takes off. i would love to hear what SOs have to say about their men who like to dress up all pretty. :)
 
 
06 August 2008 @ 10:14 pm
I am currently at a place where I have no real problems with my partner's crossdressing. Maybe that is due to the fact that he has not dressed at home in a really long time. Part of this was due to me moving to Europe for 6 months and the other part was following my return we were living with family and it just wasn't safe for him to do it there. However, we have been in a place of our own for the past 4 months and the only times he has dressed was when we took a friend of ours to a drag bar for her birthday, at my Rocky show, and once when we went to see Peaches Christ's Midnight Mass in SF. The last two times he dressed super draggy because of the nature of the events. I told him that I was proud of myself for being ok with his dressing and he pointed out that he thought I was more comfortable when he was dressed in drag and that we now have friends who think it is "cool".

I kind of thought that was a back handed comment. It succeeded in making me feel like I was 1) not in fact accepting which made me question my behavior over the last few years and 2) like I was somehow not as accepting as our friends. I have a few things to say about that.

It is one thing to be accepting of another persons behavior, especially if you have nothing personally invested in it, it is something else entirely when you are the one who is living through it. Sure, I never had a problem with crossdressers, transgendered people, or other such sexual deviants prior to it being a very real part of my life. I never thought it would be something I would ever have to deal with because it just wasn't my thing. I always thought that people in these types of relationships chose it for themselves. Well we all have choices, but it is not that easy when you are emotionally involved with someone.

I was faced with the most fulfilling relationship, the love of my lifetime, my heart, my soul. How could I choose to walk away from that, something that most people would kill for, because it just wasn't my thing? You all know the answer to that because you are here too. You stayed. Even though society doesn't understand. Even though it is hard and sometimes it feels like the walls will collapse on you. We stayed because the good parts are so very good, because when we rationally think about it, it is not that bad, and because we are women and that is what we do... we change for our men, even when our men want to be women. Oh, cruel irony.

As for me being more comfortable when he dresses in drag, I hadn't thought about it really. I like styling his wigs. I like that he as well as our friends think I do a really good job at it. Seeing him in drag is more real to me than him dressing in every day women's clothing. It is also more fun. I still don't think his drag persona is any more real than his femme persona. Both seem forced and uncomfortable. Sometimes he is comfortable and it seems natural, but that is only when he forgets he is wearing it.

Anyhoo, I am too tired to write any more. I may expand on this later.

It would be nice to see some other thoughts on this community, so, if you get a chance I would like to see some introductions on the page.

Thanks for reading.

~A~

xposted in im_adolla_richa
 
 
Current Mood: tiredtired
 
 
06 August 2008 @ 04:17 pm
Welcome to cd_signots! I am glad to see that there are some new members. Please take a minute to tell us about yourself. Write a paragraph or two about yourself, your partner, and why you decided to join this group.

Thanks for joining!

~A~
 
 
Current Mood: excited
 
 
 
05 August 2008 @ 02:00 pm
Hello,

I created this community in order to have a place where significant others of crossdressers could have a place to connect. I am hoping that I will be able to build the support I need through this community. I look forward to learning about you, so post an introduction and let's get this party started.

I am engaged to Gina and he is a crossdresser. Gina and I have been together for 5 years. I have known about his crossdressing since year 1 and have decided to stay with him because I love him and everything else about our relationship is perfect. I was fortunate enough to find out about the crossdressing fairly early in the relationship. Sometimes I think I can handle it and sometimes I don't. What I am looking for is a network of women who I can talk to about it. I have loads of friends that I can talk to, but it just isn't the same because none of them have gone through anything like what I am going through. im_adolla_richa is where I write CD related things in and I have made many friends who are crossdressers themselves. It was good to have somewhere to express my feelings and receive validation or support, but I was never able to make many friends who were SOs of CDs.

Gina is what I used to like to call, the manliest man in camp. It was an inside joke he and I made a couple of months into the relationship because when he was off on field assignments he would do all the manly things better than his other male colleagues, such as chopping wood, hiking, shooting, etc. Needless to say that when I found out about his crossdressing the image of the man I met seemed a hopeless façade. The relationship that I thought was too good to be true was just that. Gina has come a long way from where he was when he first told me his secret. No one but him knew anything or even suspected. He was ashamed of himself. He didn't find his male self attractive. He didn't want anyone to know. I have tried to be as supportive of him as I possibly can. I encouraged him to learn to love himself for all of his qualities, the ones that make him masculine and the ones that make him feminine. He began to build his self esteem and now he has no problem telling people. He will never come out to his family, which I think is a good thing, since they are of a generation that just won't understand.

Gina proposed to me in December and I accepted. We have been living together for the last 4.5 years and we have such a strong relationship. We have no problems with intimacy or communication. The only tensions we have are related to his crossdressing, or rather my ability to fully accept it. I no longer think that it is something that will ever go away. It took me a while to come to terms with that and let go of this idea that it will miraculously disappear. While I didn't openly express this to him, I still harbored some hope that it would. I still struggle with acceptance. Granted, I have come very far since I first found out about his crossdressing. However, my moods seem to change very frequently and that is something I don't think I will ever understand. One minute I can be encouraging and the next minute I am crying in the bathroom. Fortunately I now know by reading various books and group listings that I am not the only one, that this behavior is normal and I am not a crazy person.

Here is a picture of me and Gina at our last Rocky show. Talk about gender bending...
 
 
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful